To sit or to stand

I have learned that "doing the right thing" isn't always so simple. This point becomes evident to me when riding on a crowded NY subway train. It would be obvious based on how I was raised and my own insight that if a woman, child, older person or someone with a disability got on the train that I would get up for them. Well, I have received snarls from all of the above. And when I stay standing to leave seats open for others to sit, I have seen healthy young men practically knock people over to sit in them, leave older men and people with small children or canes standing. This has all left me thinking at times that maybe I should just sit. I realize though, that if I sit in this instance, I will begin sitting in others. Like "one more piece of paper one the ground won't matter" or " why speak up when nobody listens". This world gets different by people standing because it's the right thing to do and not because others do or because they gain favor by doing it. So, to answer to the question "to sit or to stand?".....STAND!

Fast

Over the weekend I went on a food and media fast with my wife, Marie. We ate only fruits and vegetables and didn't use the Internet, listen to music or watch television or movies. I have done these separately before, never together. I know it's not called a Fast because you discover things quickly, although maybe it should be. First, I discovered that I function better with protein and complex carbs, although I don't need them to function. I also discovered that I use the internet to grow my knowledge and support me in what I am up to and I also use it to distract myself from what is uncomfortable and the things that are truly important to me. this weekend because we took less time preparing our food and didn't have the distraction of the internet or the option of watching movies for entertainment, many new possibilities opened for us. We completed our new "team" vision board that we had sitting on a table waiting for us to complete for three months and we spent more time just talking than we have in a long time. So, next time I catch myself saying I'm too busy. I will ask myself the question "with what?". there is nothing better for gaining new perspective than spending a little time doing without.

It gets better

Even if you don't watch or read much news, as I don't you are most likely aware of the recently not so recent "epidemic" of teenage suicides. Many of these have been due to excessive bullying by classmates and others. These kids were bullied because they were "different" in the eyes of the others, in some cases ever their families. I saw an article that a man is campaigning to show kids and everyone that there is another alternative. He's calling it "It gets better". The message is to reach out, move forward and hold on because it always gets better. I heard one story of a college man who's roommate filmed him with another man and posted it. When he found out, he walked to a bridge and jumped. I thought to myself, if he could have held off even one day, he would have seen that it dies get better.
This is not even about suicide or bullying. It's a message to all of us to treat people how we would like to be treated and to keep moving forward no matter how hopeless things may seem and to teach others to do the same. Even though sometimes it may seem to get worse first, we can all attest to the fact that it doe get better and so do we for having gone through it.

The giving puddle

Recently, I was having breakfast with a friend. After breakfast w got up from the table and walked outside and continued our conversation while standing on the corner. A fireman had opened up the fire hydrant near the corner while we were having lunch and it had formed a puddle in the walkway. About a minute after standing there an older man with a Cain was struggling to maneuver around it and a woman took his arm and helped him. Then, a woman with a package in one hand and a small dog on a leash approached. The dog would not walk through the water and a man came by and carried it over. Another woman with a stroller stopped and looked for a way around and another woman helped carry stroller over the puddle. A UPS man with a cart of boxes found himself stuck and a man grabbed the other end and they carried it over.
I was attempting to watch this and have a conversation at the same time until I finally shared it with my friend. That fireman who had created an "annoyance"......I noticed people grumbling when he first opened it....had actually created an opportunity. That simple puddle gave people an opportunity to give and other the opportunity to see that people do still care when they just may have been losing hope in that. The thing is that the opportunity is always there if we just look around.....or down for it.

Information Detox

A couple of weeks ago, prompted by a book I was reading I went a week where I limited the information I was taking in. This meant no watching the news, reading newspapers or magazines, surfing the Internet for information, limiting watching TV and reading of any kind and no listening to audio. Well, I didn't have much of an issue with most of it, except the reading, Internet and listening to audios. I mean, I need information right? Listening to audios and reading positive, forwarding books is what I feel keeps us growing and learning.

It turns out, the author doesn't disagree with that. Listening to audios and reading books on a regular basis is a great practice to get into. The lesson that I learned from the "Information Detox" is not to depend on information from other sources to do my thinking for me. There is such a thing as information overload, even if it's good information. No matter how brilliant or reliable the source may be, the greatest source will always lie within us.

Stretching the Limits

So, I consider myself to be a pretty fit guy. I exercise every day, I push my limits, expand my comfort zone. Then a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine started teaching me Yoga. I've done yoga before, but this is one on one. As in you can't hide. In just a couple weeks it's exposing what still Can be improved on with my body and mind that I wasn't aware of before. And, of course the only way I could know that is by doing something I haven't done before or to do it in a different way. This can be scary, uncomfortable, even painful. As I keep learning, when I'm willing to stretch my limits, I realize that I really don't have any.

Back to the blog

On January first of this year, I began my daily blog and committed to writing every day for the year. Well, it lasted about five months. When I broke my commitment of writing every day, I think mentally I felt "that's that....no need to write any more". As if it was all or nothing. My words and thoughts were only worth expressing if they were written in consecutive days. As if people could only get value from my thoughts if I had stuck to my original commitment. Of course, none of that is true. And, if I hadn't lost sight of why I started this in the first place, it wouldn't have mattered.
Making commitments is an extremely beneficial thing. As long as we don't make them our prison. So, now here I am writing again with a new perspective. My new commitment is to share myself, my thoughts and experiences as I have them.

Friendship

I have a good friend who I had not spoken to in a while. We had a.... Let's call it a disagreement/misunderstanding a few months ago. Now what I have been making up in my mind is that we are no longer friends, we don't get along anymore, we are on different paths....The truth is that versions of all of that are true, things have changed, we have changed.....and we are friends. I spoke with him and by the end of the conversation it was as if nothing had happened. Something did happen though. I learned, once again that life is too short to make up stories in my mind without first learning the truth.

The wake up call

Today I was walking down the street and started getting this pain in my back. I went o meeting and it progressively got worse. By the time I left the meeting and was walking to the next one, hunched over, moaning like a baby every step I took and had to stop and rest every 5 steps. It got to the point that I ended up going to the hospital because I couldn't take the pain. It turned out that it's probably muscle and is already feeling better. The lesson I got from this is to not take anything for granted... Even the ability to walk down the street

To my mother

When it comes time for mothers day there is a lot of talk about gifts. What do you get as a gift for your mother? What do you get for a gift that is worthy of a mother? What do you get as a gift for a mother who is no longer here? The truth is there was never a gift that I could buy in a store that was worthy of my mother....I just didn't always know it. I am one of the fortunate ones though, because I was able to tell her and show her just how much she meant to me while she was still here. And yet, as I grow there is still so much more I could say. The gift that I give to my mother today is remembering her and all that she gave to me and honoring her by using it.

Just about everything that is good in me, came from you. Some of the lessons you taught me where so simple, yet I was not ready to fully receive them. When something doesn't turn out the way I would have liked it to, I hear you in my head saying "everything happens for a reason, even if we never know what that reason is" and it helps me to accept it. When I feel like someone isn't treating me in a way that I would like to be treated, I hear you say "You teach people how to treat you" and then I can be responsible and set out to teach them something different. You taught me everything I need, not just by saying it but by who you were. I will honor you today and every day by being who you taught me to be.

Taking Action on Our Dreams

I'm reading this book and about 5 days ago, I got to the part where I'm supposed to write down my dreams and goals and what they would cost to achieve in time and money. I came up with a ton of them, more than the book said was necessary. The author said that most people have trouble with this and I may not be able to come up with the amount of goals and dreams asked for. That part was not a problem. The next step was to then pick the top four goals and take one small action on each right now, then tomorrow and the next day. Then, I started thinking I don't know what action to take, maybe these aren't my top goals, blah blah blah. So, there it sat for the past five days reviewing it and figuring out the perfect top four goals and the perfect actions to take on them. Well, this is what finally got through my thick head. The point is to be in action...period. To take an action that I otherwise wouldn't. I will figure out the rest as I go along. So, I am off to do that right now. Taking action on my tenth biggest goal is better than not taking action at all.

Two ears and one mouth

I met with a friend today that I have know for a few years and had seen recently for the first time in a while. even though I knew him, I realized that I never really knew him. It's incredible what can be learned about a person and the bond that can be created when I just simply ask questions and listen. there is a saying that god gave us two ears and one mouth because he wanted us to listen twice as much as we talk. I think it's more like ten times more. When we have a lot to say it can be a challenge to keep quiet and listen...really listen. what makes it easier for me these days is knowing that I can listen to my own thoughts and opinions any time I want. so, why would I waste the valuable time I have with someone else to listen to myself talk.

Getting personal

I went to a business networking meeting last night that I go to every other week. this week at the end of the meeting, we did something a little different. We all took a turn sharing something about ourselves that was not related to business. The whole energy in the room changed and this is a light and fun group as it is. Once everyone started sharing personal interests, passions, accomplishments and goal and saw how much we had in common a bond was created that would not have been otherwise. For me, I saw the person and what drives them to be networking in the first place. It motivated me to want to work even harder to support their business and what they are up to. the lesson for me is that I could have asked those questions any time and I still can. It's much more important to get to know who a person is than to get to know what they do.

Busting out

My wife Marie sent me a video clip today of an autistic girl who was featured in a story on 20/20. She was labeled as mentally retarded and nobody thought she understood what twas going on around her because of the way she acted and she could not talk or communicate. One day, she went to the computer and typed a few words. She was then worked with and soon she was carrying on conversations through typing and intelligently relaying how she felt and why she acted the way she did. She was a "normal" child trapped inside an out of control body, physically unable to act in the way she wants to. Here is a girl who has wanted so badly to express herself to be who she is and has not been able to. It make me think of how often I don't express myself, simply because I choose not to and not because I am unable to. this girl, Carly is my new inspiration. I see it as an insult to her to not use the abilities I have to express myself when she would give anything to be able to. And yet, even she found a way. use the gifts you have to express yourself and show the world who you are.

Staying connected

For a few weeks, I was avoiding going to events and meeting with people that was not related to business because I had some specific goals that I was committed to meeting. In the past week or so, I realized that I needed to have a balance and that it's important to stay connected to the things and people that are important to me, to build new relationships and to strengthen new ones. Besides it making me feel better and more alive, our business was better this week than it was the weeks I was focused only o business. Another lesson leaned.....life can not be lived in a tunnel and sometimes opportunities are not where they are expected to be.

No nessecito hablo Espanol

Ok, so I probably messed that up In the title.... I gave it a shot. The other night, I was at an event and there was a large group of Spanish speaking people. I think slot of them dis not speak English, or at least they weren't speaking it to me. We were together, interacting and working together for about three hours and barely spoke a word. By the end of the night, we were hugging and putting up the Phone sign to each other as if to say " we will talk again" and we hadn't even talked once. We created a bond without even speaking the same language. If I think about it we all speak a different language in some ways, yet we also all share a common bond.

Exposed

We are probably going to pass by the TMI barrier with this one, so I will warn you in advance. Yesterday, I got up and my dog was whining to go out. I was getting myself together and she was growing impatient....when you gotta go, you gotta go. So, I rushed out Nd took her for a walk. We walked about five blocks, I stopped to get eggs and we walked back. I passed by a few people and stopped a couple times so Abhaya could say hi to other dogs passing by. We got to my apartment and I dropped my keys. As I went to pick them up, I noticed my fly was open. That's not all folks. I forgot to mention that it was laundry day and I had run out of boxers....oh yes! For about 15 seconds I traced it back, the deli guy, man with dog that I see all the time, woman with unusually large grin on her face. Then, I just laughed and let it go. Five years ago, I would have moved.....to another country....for good! It was great to see how little I cared...it was in the past...there was nothing I could do about it. If only I could be that way about everything. Wait...that's right.... I can!

No need to speak

A good friend of mine recently found out that her dog has Lymphoma. I think it may be difficult for someone who does not have a dog to understand the attachment and connection that can be created. When I found this out it made me think of the connection I have to my dog and how important she is to me. People sometimes say "it's just a do...it's not a human" I think the fact that it's not a human is exactly why a special bond is created. I think sometimes us humans speak to each other when we really don't need to. Dogs are just there. They just love us and don't ask for anything in return. There is a lot to be learn from a relationship with a dog. And it can be so devastating when we are faced with the loss because it's a unique bond that we may not have in any other relationship. Sometimes there is no need to speak, we can just be there and that is enough.

The longer the distance

About three years ago, I ran in a four mile race. I hadn't run in a while and I was not prepared for it at all. In a word....it was not fun. Ok, that was more than a word. After about a half of a mile, I wanted to stop. It didn't get any better from there and the whole thing was not a great experience. I didn't stop and I pushed through it and finished. About 6 months ago, I ran in a half marathon. I trained for about three months and slept 9 hours the night before. It was more than three times the distance and it was a breeze.... It was actually fun. So, it's not the longer the distace the harder it is. It's, the longer the distance the harder you train. This taught me to shoot for big goals and to be willing to put in the work in the begiining to make it a breeze in the end.

Boris, it's so lovely to meet you

So, I'm sitting in a park in between meetings and this man with a long gray beard and a thick Russian accent walking by, stops in front of me, looks me in the eye, put out his hand and says "it's so lovely to meet you, what is your name young man?". I told him my name and he sat down next to me on the bench, leaned into me and proceeded to ask me a series of personal questions and I proceeded to answer them without any hesitation. After about 10 minutes, he stood up, looked me in the eye, shook my hand and said "Stephen, it's so lovely to meet you" and he walked away. He wanted nothing from me and yet I probably would have done just about anything for him. It's really just so simple isn't it? Thank you Boris. It was so lovely to meet you.

Happy because we sing

I once heard a quote that said "We do not sing because we are happy, we are happy because we sing". This kinda bashes the whole "I'm not in the mood" or "I don't feel like it" defence. I love this because it really puts me in my place when I get on a mood or am feeling down because it says so simply that it's my choice. I have actually tried this. Try singing when you are sad and see how long you stay sad. Of course, in my case if I start singing people are me may start feeling sad. I know now that I can't wait for something to make me happy, I make me happy.

Laughter is medicine

I watch this video that I saw on facebook. It was a 30 second insurance company commercial with two kids talking about healthy eating. At the time that I watched the video, I was not in the best of moods. I watched this video and I laughed so hard and felt such a feeling of happiness that my mood shifted immediately. I proceeded to overdose on the video and watched it about 10 times. My whole attitude about the day turned around and whenever something dis come up I thought of these kids and couldn't help but laugh. There really is nothing like a good dose of laughter to turn around any day.

"routines"

I think it is so important to have something that you do every day to get centered and to work towards a particular goal. I used to call these routines. A friend once suggested, stressing the importance of the language we use to call them daily practices. A routine suggests something that we have to do, the same old thing every day. A practice is something that we do to improve and it moves us forward. Some people might think this is silly, but once I changed what I called it, I really started viewing it in a different way and started having fun with it. Of course I learned that I also have to practice my practicing and that practice doesn't always make perfect....it does make improvement.

Starbucks

When people ask me where I work, I could say Starbucks and be telling the truth. When I'm going to meet with someone, most of the time I find a Starbucks in the area to meet at. If I'm running around the city and I need a bathroom.... Starbucks. If I need to find a place to make some phone calls or get some work done....Starbucks. I'm am writing this blog right now in.... You guessed it....Starbucks. I hear people say that Starbucks is a money waster because it's over priced and a gimmick that people fall into and spend money they don't need to be spending. Well, I forgot to mention the beat part....you actually don't even have to buy anything when you come here:) One man's money waster is another man's money maker.

Fresh air

Today is a beautiful day outside, so I am doing some work outside at The park. I just feel better overall when I'm outside in the fresh air. I think better, feel happier and am much more productive than when I'm inside. Just feeling the breeze, hearing birds singing and just being out in the air gets me motivated. I think that being outdoors connects with my spirit because it's where we, as humans were built to be. Especially here on the East Coast, nice weather is not to be taken for granted, so while it's here, I will be out in it as much as possible.

Sitting

A few people I know have done this 10 day retreat where mostly what they do all day is, as they call it "sitting". Sitting....all day! And, of course, I in my constant quest for self development or mild case of insanity depending on how you view it, am going to make arrangements for myself to....sit. The purpose of this is to begin training yourself to relinquish control and limit the "mind chatter"......I could definitely use to do more of that. When I start to think about it, it is less scary to jump out of a plane again. To be alone with my thoughts for that long could be dangerous. I am doing this because I want to be in tune with my surroundings, connected on an other level and develop an increased appreciation for what I have in the present moment. And, after all...all I have to do is sit.

Up before the sun

I was on the road at 4:20 am this morning....yikes! It's amazing to me how many people are up and out that early or many for some, up that late. Besides being just a bit tired, it does feel good to have a jump start on the day. Although, I probably don't need quite that big of a jump start. I'm just grateful that it's not an every day thing for me like it is for some people. There is definetly something powerful about getting up before the sun.

The american dream

Today I met a man who owns small sandwich shop. He was a really nice guy and makes a great sandwich too. He moved here from Greece about 15 years ago. He owns (or mortgages, anyway) a home, has three young kids and owns a business....the American dream! Only, he was talking about how he doesn't own a business, but he owns a job. Then, he said "actually, it owns me". He said that he works 80 hours a week, barely sees his family, can't afford any extras and when he gets home, all he wants to do is go to bed....the American dream! This is a hard working man who thought he was doing the right thing and now feels trapped. This truly made me grateful that I'm in a business that doesn't own me and that I have the means to build a true American dream for myself and my family and teach others to do the same.

Before it's "almost too late"

Tonight after our transitions class, we had a information seminar, like we do every Tuesday night. One of the attendees brought her 16 year old daughter with her. It was so inspiring to see her willingness to take action and be committed to turning her health around. She is going to be a part of our next class with her mom. I'm so excited to have the opportunity to support this girl in getting to a healthy weight, building up her confidence and living a life without limitations. Too many people wait until they are faced with a life or death choice to make a change. This young girl has reminded me that the tiem to make a change is before it's "almost too late".

back to "normal"

Today is my first day back to a "normal" day. I have not been in my regular routine since last week. Then again, thankfully for me I don't really have a regular routine. It was great to see new places and experience new things, and I am glad to be back home. I think it's important when I am away from it for a while to take what I learned form begin away with me and then jump right in and keep the momentum going. That's what today is about for me. It's always a new moment and normal is definitely not the goal.

Flying

So, today I jumped out of an airplane! I have been "wanting" to do this for a long time and I finally did. It took my wife getting me a gift certificate for my birthday. This was for sure a big leap into my fears. I was nervous the whole ride up and was having second thought about it. I watched the video of myself and I could see it on my face. The thing is, I wasn't worried at all that anything would happen to me. I completely trusted the facility, pilot and my tandem partner. Yes, I was jumping out of a plane, but I knew I was safe. Yet, I was scared and nervous and had thoughts of backing out...even though I knew I wouldn't. I think that I was nervous and scared simply because it was unknown. I have just conditioned myself to be scared of the unknown....fortunately, I have also conditioned myself to jump into it any way! and, when I do, I get to fly...right through the fear and I always land safely on the ground and look back up and wonder what I was so scared about.

A week to build on

This has been a week of learning, new experiences and getting uncomfortable. Last weekend I went to a three day training and met some amazing people and learned new ways to live a powerful life and effectively give to others. I went to Virginia and spent some time with my brother who I have not seen in a while and connected on a whole new level. I went to DC to see friends in a play and got to spend some much needed time with me wife. Now, I'm going to jump out of an airplane. My commitment is to live every week and every day as big as this one.

Talent

Today we saw two friends of ours who were playing the lead roles in the play "Little shop of horrors" in Washington, DC. They are married couple who were our neighbors when we lived in Manhattan. I knew they were actors, but I was blown away by how amazing they were. I do not take talent like that lightly, especially being that people typically run when I sing. I do believe that we all have some talent or gift to share with the world. The key is to figure out what it is and find a way to express it.

Freedom is not free

I was in Virginia and Washington DC the past couple days and got a vivid reminder of our history. In Fredricksburg, Virginia, I walked around a field and over man made trenches from a battle in the Civil War. I visited a shop that was standing since the war and was shown holes in the ceiling where cannon balls had been shot through. Then in DC, I got a private tour of Ford's theatre where Lincoln was assassinated. I saw the WWW II memorial, which my father fought on and the Vietnam wall memorial, a war my uncle fought in. There was a inscription on a wall by the war memorial that said "Freedom is not free". I am grateful today to all those who have paid so much so that I don't have to.

Feedback

Sometimes I'm not sure of the difference between feedback and criticism. Sometimes someone will give me "feedback" and I am just sure that it's "there stuff" and they are really just venting. And, I may just be "right" and they may have no good intentions at all. The thing I have come to realize is....What difference does it make? I miss a lot of opportunities to learn and grow if I care what the persons intention is or who is right or wrong. Opportunities to grow can come from any place, I just need to be wiling to hear it.

My big brother

I'm in Virginia for a few days and today I made plans to see my brother Mark, who lives close to where I am. Mark was the one brother that I was intimidated by growing up. I wasn't intimidated because he was violent or mean, but because he told it like it was. I am the youngest of 16 and I was a bit spoiled. Was mother and sisters mostly would do a lot for me and answer for me when I could have myself. Mark would always be the one to go againsts the grain and say things like "let him do it himself". At the time I remember thinking " butt out buddy". I would get angry with him because I felt it meant he didn't love me or care about me. Now of course I know it's just the opposte. He was fighting for me. I guess the point isn't when we get the lesson, but that we do.

Meeting again for the first time

I spent the past few days with some people who I knew, some who I even considered good friends. It's amazing to me how I can think I know someone and then when in a different situation or environment together I get to know them all over again. I know that from the experience we shared this weekend, our relationships will be propelled to a whole new level. I also know that when I share myelfhonestly with others, they feel free to share themselves with me. From this point on when I seek to meet new people, I will not limit that to the people I haven't met yet.

What do I know?

I spent the past two days absorbing a lot of amazing information. A lot of it, I could say that I have heard before.... But, do I know it? How do I know if I already know something, concepts, ideas.... Does anyone know it? Even the trainer? I mean, they are concepts right? If I say I know it... I miss it. A lot of it I have heard before... Great! Am I living it in my life? And the concepts I heard that are new to me, what good is it if I don't practice it? My commitment to myself is to continue to learn, be open and be in action... That's the only way I know I'm moving forward.

Diversity

Yesterday was the first day of a training I'm doing this weekend. My faverite part of day one was the opportunity to interact with new people. One of the things I love about New York is the diversity. These were people with Such various opinions, personalities and cultures. I see it as such an opportunity to grow and learn how to be with people who I wouldn't normally have a chance to interact with. It's a reminder that I can create that opportunity at any moment.

Creating Mastery

I am doing a training this weekend and looking to do a three month course at the end of the month that both have the word master in them. I have a different view on what a master is these days or what me being a master means. I used to think it would be cool to be a master of the guitar, acting, singing or baseball. today, to me...I want to master my relationships with people, my health, my own mind, my moods. what I am aiming to achieve is designing the life I want without allowing barriers that I create to get in the way.

The four hour work week

What a concept, huh? That's the title of the book I just started reading. The idea is that there are ways that we can enjoy our lives....now! Not work ourselves to death and hope it pays off so we can enjoy it later... That's what I'm talking about! I'm loving this book already because this is exactly what I've been talking about and building and it's a big part of my business. In the book, he talks about new concepts and options to make this type of lifestyle a reality. What excites me is not only creating it for myself, but more importantly teaching others how to create it. I truly believe that most people desire a life without limits and freedom to do what they want, when they want and with whom they want. They just don't dare dream it because they don't think it's possible to achieve. My commitment is to be the example and show people how possible it really is.

Too perfect

It's interesting to me how we, as humans....myself included, of course...tend to often have a "grass is greener outlook". In this case, it's the weather. It's beautiful outside! I actually looked it up and it's warmer and sunnier here in NY than it is in Hawaii. Yet, I have heard people and found myself saying "It's hot"..."I'm sweating". Living here in NY, there are not many "perfect" days in the course of a year...weather wise. It's either too dry or too rainy or too hot or too cold or too windy or too something. The truth is that it's always too perfect.....it all has it's purpose...and, of course I'm not just talking about the weather. I'm reminded to see the benefit of all weather....rain, shine, hot, cold, sunny, cloudy, rich, poor, sick healthy, life, death. It's all perfect...even if I don't know it yet.

being "tired"

What does it really mean to be tired? I have heard it said that being tired is a state of mind. I agree with that, for the most part :)....and, right now, my state of mind is tired. If you are going on an hour of sleep or just ran a marathon, I would say there is a legitimate reason to be tired. I also know that sometimes a list of things I have to do ringing in my head and not knowing when or how I'm going to do them, can be more exhausting than running a marathon on being on an hour of sleep...although I have not attempted that yet. I do know though, that I have more control over whether or not the first one makes me tired, than I do the second. See, just writing about this and putting it in a different perspective...I'm no longer tired. Now, I'm going to shift it back again, because I need to get some sleep.

Family time

Today was Easter....which means family time. I always love spending holiday's with my family because it always means good laughs and great food. It brings back memories for me of when I was a kid and of members of our family who are not around anymore. I'm grateful today for my family and friends and all the love and support they show me. to me holidays are an opportunity to share and build memories....which I will do not only today, but every day.

Loyalty

What is loyalty? To be loyal to someone or something? People have used a comparison to dogs...dogs are loyal. Hmmmm, do I want to be like a dog?....Do I want people to be like a dog towards me? So, the reason I am writing this is to get clear because I have always considered myself to be loyal and I want to be sure I know what I have always considered myself to be. In case you haven't noticed, we humans tend to expect people to be to us what we consider ourselves to be to others.....or is that just me? Kind of the reverse of the golden rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." This is more like, "have others do unto you, as you do unto them." It doesn't exactly work that way. I think the key here is to know what it means to me.....standing with and for someone or something, especially when things get tough. When I say stand for, I mean stand for their highest possibility. Others may not see it the same way. I can't expect others to act a certain way towards me.

Time waster vs saver

So, I just got a new iphone. I am actually blogging from it right now. I don't have a laptop yet, so this is an extra special moment for me. I can blog while I'm walking down the street....pretty cool! I know a lot of you have been doing this for a while and I had it once before. Take this as a reminder....don't take it for granted. I plan on using this "new" technology wisely and use it as a time saver and not a time waster. I know us big kids can get addicted to these things and get distracted from our original course of action. On the flip side, I used to have to wait to get home to access the Internet and was carrying around a appoinent book for scheduling. I guess it's welcome to the new age and I'm going to make the most of it.

Be a fool

So, today is April fools day. I have to say that I'm not a huge fan. I don't have great memories of April fools day. I am the youngest of 16 and most of them are sarcastic and love tricking people, so you can probably figure out the rest. Harmless stuff, I do have to admit....lucky for me. I remember one day on April 1st, I was about 11. My sister woke me up all excited and said that there was a parade going down our street and mentioned everyone I liked at the time and said they were in the parade. I jumped out of my bed and ran to the window and guess what....no parade. Yes, if you could believe it, Farah Fawcett and Hulk Hogan were not leading a parade down Ohio St. in Hicksville, Long Island. Now, everyone else thought this was just hilarious....me, not so much. "But, it's April fools day"....really? I, of course got over it and forgave my sister....about a year ago. Anyway, I never really got the purpose of the day. I heard someone last night suggest that instead of playing tricks on innocent 11 year old boys and breaking their hearts and scaring them for years to come...oops, sorry...got lost for a minute there.....he suggests being a fool yourself and be goofy, do something silly, something that what would normally embarrass you. I see it as stepping out of your comfort zone rather than forcing someone else to step out of theirs. So, today I am setting out to be a fool rather than to make someone else feel or look like one.

Stepping it up

Today is the last day of March, which means that it's the end of the first quarter of 2010. Today, I evaluated my first three months of the year and wrote new goals for the next three months. I have been consist ant in a lot of areas and not so much in others. It's time to step it up! I am so excited about what I am creating and learning about myself and others and what the rest of this year will bring. this is the year! I have been saying it....and I believe it more now than ever. and, every year after this one, will be the year as well! this is the time to take a look, re-evaluate, make adjustments and step it up!

A privilege to give

About two weeks ago, I got in touch with the right person at the Diabetes Foundation after weeks of calling. I wanted information on what I had to do to run in the NY Marathon for them. My mom passed away due to complications from diabetes, so this is a cause that is important to me and a big reason why I do the work that I do. So, I figured I would just tell them I wanted to run for them, they would thank me and tell me how much I had to raise. They told me how much I had to raise, took down my information and said they would get back to me to let me know if I am chosen to run on their behalf. She said that they had a waiting list of people wanting to run for them. Well, my ego did not like this initially. "chosen?...to run 26.2 miles and raise $2,500 for your foundation?" I quickly put my ego in it's place. That's right, chosen! first of all, how amazing is that...there is a line of people waiting for the privilege to give their time and energy for a cause. It truly is a privilege and I think it took being put on a waiting list for me to really get that. It just seems kind of funny. I would be really disappointed if I was not chosen....to stretch myself in pretty much every way imaginable to raise more money than I ever have before and run twice as long as I ever have. I am awaiting this call more than any other right now. What an opportunity to give a little something back to my mom and so many others who suffer from this disease and to show my gratitude for being blessed with good health

Grateful

Today we had a cleaning service come in to clean for the first time ever. A woman in her 50's shows up, in the rain, after traveling for over an hour with a big bag of cleaning supplies with a big smile on her face, ready to get to work. She was here for five hours an our apartment has never smelled or looked better. I asked her if she liked her job and she said she loves it. I ask her what she loves about it and she said "I love that I have it" Now, I know what I paid her boss and she traveled over two hours total and worked for five hours, so her hourly wage was....let's just say, not much. And, she was singing the whole time while she worked. I paid to have our apartment cleaned and also got a lesson in gratitude. This was another reminder to enjoy what I'm doing and where I am while at the same time always improving and moving forward.

Running for the big guy

Today, I ran a 15K in Central Park with family and friends in memory of my Uncle John who past away from colon cancer last year. It was really an amazing experience. Seeing all those people who loved him and all the people who came to support those of us who loved him. there were actually times during the run today that I was starting to feel worn out a bit and I looked at his picture on my shirt and got an extra burst of energy remembering that I was running for him. He was always an incredible support to me and an inspiration and that has not changed. Big John would be proud to see how much of an impact he has made on so many and how loved he is. this was a day that I will always remember and he will always be with me.

Putting it out there

I have learned another valuable lesson from the blog I wrote yesterday. I wrote about the "challenges" I have been having from training for a run. I have already received several responses from friends with suggestions about what I can do to prevent some of these challenges. Often, I don't share because I feel like I'm complaining...hum....sharing vs complaining? Maybe a future topic. Anyway, the lesson for me is that I won't receive support if I don't share what is going on. and, of course sharing about diaper rash is sometimes easier than some other issues we encounter daily. thank you to everyone who has respond with your support and thank you also for another lesson learned. When I just put it out there, I never know what I may get back.

The things we do for like

OK, I'm going to be a bit revealing here...bare with me. It's late and I went to a comedy show last night and I think that is inspiring me to see the humor in this situation. I have been training for a run that I am doing with Marie and some of my family on Sunday. I have trained for a run before, but for some reason I am having some challenges this time around that I didn't encounter last time. First of all, which I guess is normal, I am getting blisters on the bottom of my feet..which is kinda gross and pretty painful. OK, I know stop being a baby. So, speaking of babies, I have diaper rash. No, I don't wear diapers and as far as I can tell, I have diaper rash! I don't think you want me to go into a detailed description, so you're going to have to trust me on this one. I saved the best for last. I have itchy, sensitive nipples. Yes, that's right. I thought maybe I had a rare case of premature, male menopause. Then, Marie tells me that she saw nipple protectors in the runner's store. I have sensitive nipples, bubbles on my feet and diaper rash!....back off, ladies...I'm taken! And, when I think about it, I don't even love running. I like it, at best. And, I'm planning on running a marathon. why?....What I'm thinking is that the more we push ourselves out our comfort zone, beyond our "limits", the more our human spirit that was hidden way down deep screams "give me more...this is living!" So, I'm going to keep giving my spirit more because so far the returns have been amazing!...even if it means I have to get baby powder and nipple protectors!

“Making a Change for Good”

I wanted to share an excerpt form the book “Making a Change for Good” by Cheri Huber. we read this to our Transtions class to support them in creating a new, healthy perspective with food.

Eating is often a source of great suffering. What and how much to eat are questions we face every day. If we are conscious, there is no problem. At a retreat, a woman said, “ I’ve noticed that I can generally maintain my commitment to lose a few extra pounds as long as I maintain conscious awareness while eating.” This is a huge piece of the puzzle.

“Going unconscious” is the reaction to specific triggers. Rising energy that gets labeled “tension” is one of those triggers. A series of connections begins that takes the unaware person down a path of bad decisions. For instance, I am conditioned to ignore early warning sides of hunger. I’m busy, I’m involved in something important, and I avoid signals of growling stomach and dropping blood sugar. I can never remember to bring a snack or to avoid coffee and sugar when I won’t be able to eat for several hours. Soon I am miserable. Inside I’m hysterical. I can’t focus or concentrate, and I hate everyone around me. When I finally get to food, I stuff myself with the quickest, easiest items I can get my hands on. I pack in way more empty calories than I need before my brain gets information about how much I’ve ingested. Alas, fast food is designed for the person in my condition. Snack foods are made for people in blood sugar crisis. So, we want to bring conscious, compassionate awareness to the issue of food. Who would I be if I had a kind, compassionate relationship with food. What would happen to self hatred if I ate what was good for me and was healthy and felt good about myself. There would be no drama! There would be no suffering.

Does this mean you will never again get to eat a piece of cake or candy? No, of course not. It means you will eat it when it is good for you to eat it, not when it’s an unconscious decision from self-hate. Let’s say I commit to eating a limited amount of sugar once per day. I know sugar isn’t good for me, and I don’t feel well, I weigh more than is comfortable, and I feel totally out of control with the issue. Because I’m used to eating a lot of sugar every day, the stress is going to build. Voices start angling for their sugar. Conditioning starts distracting, making cases, making deals. The Judge starts expressing an opinion about who and how I am for having an issue with sugar in the first place. I watch it all. I breathe and observe and write down everything that goes on. I am practicing choosing compassion over self-hatred. I am addressing the issue. I’m cutting back on sugar. I’m taking responsibility for my health and well-being, and I’m doing it from the place that is most compassionate to all. Compassion for the sugar addict, compassion, for the habit, compassion for the body, compassion for the opinions, compassion for the person who wants to be free of the addiction.

leggo my ego

Making up sometimes seems to be a lot harder than it should be. Is it just me? I sometimes look back at an argument I had after things are resolved and I think to myself, why was that so difficult? Does anyone have an idea why something that should be so simple is sometimes so difficult? I will give you a clue...It starts with "E" and it ends with "GO". Our old foe, the ego. And, the more ''right" and "justified" I think I am, the stronger my ego gets. It's actually pretty crazy when I think about it. I mean, sometimes I say to myself "Just clear it, apologize, let it go, you don't need to argue your point" and just when that's starting to settle in and feel right, it's like my ego grabs me by the collar and says "Have you lost your %*@#ing mind, man?!.....you're going to what.....clear what?....apologize for what?....you don't have to argue your point?....are you nuts?" And then when I follow the ego's advice and end up miserable, he says...."you're on your own pal....this isn't my area of expertise". A friend once said to me that we have a choice to be right or be happy and our ego wants to be right. I choose to be happy.

At war

I went to church this Sunday and they talked about being at war with people that we are supposed to be "at war" for. Fighting with the very same people we should be fighting for. He didn't get into this, but what I concluded as I thought about it later is that we, or I anyway am fighting the people I should be fighting for because I am fighting myself, rather than fighting for myself half the time. So, before I can make any changes on the outside, I realize that I need to stop doing that.

What's it worth?

I was listening to an audio this morning of a man who is has reached goals similar to what I am striving to attain. This is a man that I have looked at in the past and thought to myself and sometimes out load that he had attributes and past experiences that I don't have. I have known that I could attain those goals, and at the same time I felt it would take more of an effort because it must have come naturally to him. He is a natural salesman, public speaker, businessman, motivator, etc. that's what I told myself. On the audio, he tells a much different story than the one I made up. He said that he spent 6 to 8 hours every day practicing his business presentation for six months before he ever even presented it to someone. He would practice it in the mirror, record it on a tape, listen to the tape and take notes and critique it at least three times a day. He would let other people listen to it and get their feedback. He would listen to at least four hours of audios a day. He would go to trainings four times a week or more. And then, after six months....he really went to work. After three years he had created a dream lifestyle and never had to work again. So, the lesson I got...it's not about who I am, where i came from, what I know....It's what I'm willing to do and who I'm willing to become to be and have what I want.

Our deepest fear

I was reminded of this quote today, so I thought I would put it in my blog. I'm sure most of you know it. It's something worth repeating and hearing again.....

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others. —Marianne Williamson

D is for.....

A friend posted an article today about the epidemic of vitamin D deficiency. http://www.naturalnews.com/028357_vitamin_D_deficiency.html
Being that health and supplementation is a big part of our business, I was well aware of this. the issue is that the only "natural" way to get sufficient vitamin D is form the sun. the problem is that people don't spend as much time outdoors as they once did, partially because there is just too much to do indoors these days. And, when we do go outdoors, we slather ourselves up with SPF 8,000 sunscreen. the only real, safe way to get sufficient vitamin D is through supplementation. this is what we use and it is the highest quality supplement with the most effective delivery system available. http://www.marketamerica.com/shopndream/index.cfm?action=shopping.wpGoShopProducts&skuID=13071
Reading the article, I was also relating it to other situations in my life. We all have situations in our lives where we feel like we have a choice between two options we don't want...."between a rock and a hard place" I find that sometimes if I step away form my "only" two choices, I have a better chance of finding a third.

Expose yourself

A friend of mine has been writing revealing things about herself on her Facebook posts for the past few days. She is entitling it "exposing myself". She just writes whatever she is feeling in the moment. As if she has Turrets Syndrome, but she doesn't. She is making a statement that she is who she is. It's like she is saying, "I'm weeding out the phony friends....if you don't love me for ALL that I am, than I don't know what to tell ya". I am inspired! It makes me think of the saying "Nobody is perfect". I used to think that was a great saying. Now, I realize that the opposite is true...EVERYBODY IS PERFECT! I mean, who determines what perfect is anyway? I personally spent a good part of my life not attempting much of anything because I didn't think I could do it perfectly.....that's insanity! What would it be like if we all just said what was on our minds all the time...really? I think about it. I think after a while we would all be truly free because we would realize that compared to what everyone else was saying, we would seem pretty "normal". The only reason I don't do that now is because I have placed a judgement on certain thoughts I have , so I assume others will too. And, trust me on this one...NOBODY says everything that's on their mind. We all hold back at times. And, that's not what I'm even suggesting. I was just inspired and refreshed by someone speaking freely, knowing that it may be judged by some....that's what leaders do.

The hero's assistant

Yesterday, I was at my sister's house and all of the sudden she says "I smell fire". Her and my brother go out in the back yard and see the house diagonally behind her house is on fire! My brother, being a volunteer hero "fireman", without hesitation jumps onto a table and leaps over the fence and runs towards the house. I, with slight hesitation....follow him. When we got there, we saw a large patch of grass next to the house and the left back side of the house was on fire. My brother was amazing! By the time I got there, he was in charge. He was banging on the door, yelling"Is anyone home?". All I could do is follow his lead. I ran to the front to do the same. By the time I returned to the back yard, he had taken the hose from the neighbors yard and was on it! He yelled to me...."there's a kink in the hose, get it out"...so, I did. He told me to get him a shovel, so he could take off the shingles... so, I did. By the time the fire department got there, the fire was out. They said that 5 more minutes and the fire would have engulfed the house. It was pretty amazing. I imagine my brother has run through the procedure of handling a house fire and carried it out so many times that it's automatic for him. Coupled with the fact that he is selfless and cares about people makes him a true hero that is on deck at any moment. It was a true example to me that we can all create that in ourselves with anything. With repetition, a real desire to help and by setting the ego aside, we can all bring the hero in ourselves, out....whatever that means to you.

St. Patty's Day

What is St. Patrick's Day all about, anyway? Some people think that it's just another made up holiday that gives people an excuse to get together with friends and family and have fun and celebrate....works for me. For me, it's another family tradition, a time for us "mc's" and anyone else to get together and connect. It's another opportunity to share memories and build new ones. My sister Kathy has been hosting it every year since my mom has not been able to. I make Irish soda bread, my sister Donna makes scones, and my brother Kevin gets there early in the morning to be my sisters personal assistant...which is not an easy task. We have corned beef, cabbage and potatoes....no, it's not exactly transitions friendly. I remember my mom getting "tipsy" on her one glass of Irish cream and the huge pots, that could barely fit on the stove packed with corned beefs. We listen to Irish music and at the end of the night we toast with Baily's for my mom and others who are not here to celebrate with us anymore. I would say, take advantage of any opportunity to spend time with the people you love....even if it means being Irish for just one day!

Always inspired

I just got home from another amazing Transitions class. Tonight the class just took on a life of it's own. We had a specific topic for the night and it turned out that there was a different plan. The people in the class shared about how important it is to them to reach their goals and how they feel better than they ever have and want to keep it up. They spoke about the realization that this is a process and that they are accomplishing things that they never have before. We are in the sixth week and one person completely stopped smoking and another has already lost 30 pounds and says he can play with his kids in a way that he couldn't before. They were speaking beyond their health and their weight. They were talking about shifting their jobs and doing more in their lives. These are things we have heard before coaching Transitions, but it really never stops inspiring me. It is amazing how we are there to coach them and I personally get so much from it, every week. I feel so blessed that I have the opportunity to provide people with the tools and accountability to forever alter their lives...and it's actually a business!....I am always inspired and forever grateful!

Happy Birthday Uncle John

Today is my Uncle John's birthday. It is his first birthday that he is not with us, in body. He past away this past year form colon cancer. He was my mother's "little" brother. "Big John" was 6' 6" and his large stature was matched only by his enormous heart.....and there go the tears....didn't take long. That's because this man is an integral part of the man that I am today. He was and is the prime example to me of the kind of Husband, Father, Uncle, Brother and friend that I strive to be. He has left behind a legacy. My nephew, his great nephew just got a tattoo in his honor...what does that tell you? He served our country in Vietnam and spent a good part of his life caring for people for a living, working in a hospital. When my mom was left to raise an army of children alone.....Big John was there, when my sister needed somebody to drive with her to California....Big John was there, when I was at my lowest point and felt like I had no hope...Big John was there. When I think about it, whenever anyone needed anything....Big John was there! He told me once that he loved me so much that I could light his brand new car on fire and all he would do is roast marshmallows...oh, I forgot to mention that he was hilarious!....and you know what, he meant it...he would. He liked "things", but he knew they were just "things"....people, his friends, his family is what he lived for....what his soul still lives for. I have had some periods of sadness since he's been gone thinking that my children won't have the opportunity to experience him. But, they will...because he is a part of all of us...always. His humor, his love, his values, his wit....it lives in his family....in me. Today I choose not to be sad thinking of you because that would not honor who you are. Today, I smile and rejoice that I was blessed to have such a spectacular human being be such a huge part of my life. And, one day we will meet on the other side....have a Guinness and some burnt chocolate chip cookies waiting for me. You are my Uncle and my friend and in my heart always! Happy Birthday Uncle John!

Making it happen

This blog will be the shortest one in the history of my blogging...on purpose...why? because I just got back from a three hour event, where I learned what I already knew and needed to hear again. It's time to make it happen....really yes, it's not just about doing....but, even being requires action, shifting. We all owe it to ourselves to make "IT" happen...now! Because now is all there is! I don't need to develop this or learn that....Now is the time to stop talking and make it happen!

Getting organized

I read recently about a filing system to keep track of business contacts. So, we just went out and got the materials to do it. I have come to a realization recently. In the past, I would commit to some system or schedule and when I didn't follow it, I would beat myself up about how I'm not disciplined or organized and never stick to anything....guess how that worked out? So, what I realized is that their are so many different systems for being organized because it's not one-size fits all...yes, I just realized that :). I think it's important to make this stuff fun and not difficult work. Us humans like fun, not difficult work and we stick to what we like.

6 am

I took a train into the city this morning and arrived at Central park at 6 am. I met with 20 other people to honor a friend. It was amazing to see people show up at a park at 6am on a cold March morning to share what this man meant to them and what they remembered of him. As everyone went around to share, it really reminded me of the impact we can have on people. The other thing that occurred to me was that I never told this man the impact he had on me, the lessons I learned from him in the little time I spent with him. How much greater could we all be if we gave that away regularly, if we told people while they were here what they meant to us as if they may not be here tomorrow to tell. And, how great would they be, empowered with the knowledge that they really do make a difference. One more lesson I learned from Steve is to never assume that someone knows, that they get it. Steve and I didn't really have a close relationship. I think he would be surprised to know that I didn't think twice about going to Central Park at 6 am to honor him. This experience has motivated me to examine the importance of all the people in my life...and to let them know it....now!

The Answer

I'm listening to an audio book right now called "The Answer". Who among us doesn't want the answer? Basically, "the answer"is developing a winning attitude and a success mind- set. We all already know that, right? That's what my initial reaction was. Then it goes into some tools, like setting goals, affirmation, etc. I know about that stuff too. On the audio they also talk about auto-suggestion and programing your mind to attain what you want. That gets my attention. The truth is, if my mind was already programed to have all that I wanted to attain, I wouldn't be wanting to attain it, I would have it. I'm starting to catch on that most of us don't truly realize what it takes to achieve the extraordinary. We see the result and often we think "wow, what an amazing person that achieved that". What if it's not so much the person, but the mind-set that the person chose to develop. If that's true, guess what that would mean?...that any one of us is capable of achieving the extraordinary. And, not in some sort of "pie in the sky" way, that sounds nice to say....I mean, really. It takes work, but not the kind of work we think of. My choice moving forward is to continue to program my mind for what I want and not allow it to be programed for me. We ARE all capable of the extraordinary, we just have to achieve it in our minds first.

Making the Transition

This past weekend I was at a 3 day training for a re-certification as a Transitions Lifestyle coach. Over 400 people flew out to Orlando to learn how to coach adults and children how to live a healthy lifestyle. It was a real inspiration seeing so many people with the desire to make a difference. I really walked away with a renewed confidence in the state of health in our country. I am so grateful and blessed to have the opportunity and the tools to educate and empower people to make a shift in their health and in their lives. there was a time when I only dreamed of being able to have my own business, much less a business where I was actually making a difference in peoples lives. I'm excited to continue to arm people with the tools to change their lives and now I have the ability to empower children to make the shift before they become unhealthy adults.

Be where you are

I was reminded today of a dream I had once. I was traveling around the world and I suddenly found myself "lost". I began to panic, get upset...."I'm supposed to be someplace else" "how did I end up here?". Then, I realized that I was on a journey. It didn't really matter that I wasn't "where I was supposed to be". I decided to just be where I was. In that moment I heard a noise I didn't hear before ...a sort of crashing noise. I walked to follow the noise and came to a ledge. I looked out over the ledge and saw the most beautiful waterfall....I had seen pictures of it. I was overlooking Victoria Falls. We have all received a similar message many times before...and we get it...do we live it?...really? Do we want to be where we are "supposed to be" or where we are? That was the lesson I learned from this dream and it was a message I needed to receive. Then, yesterday Marie and I were talking about a possible trip to Africa and one of the places we would be visiting is Victoria Falls.....be where you are.

The Water Hyacinth

I have to admit, sometimes I do have moments when I wonder if the actions I take are leading me forward to my goals and causing me to grow. Anyone who can relate, here is a story that supports me in remembering that I can't always see the results of the growth that is taking place.

The water hyacinth is a beautiful, delicate-looking little plant. Prized as an ornament, it sports six-petaled flowers ranging from a lovely purplish blue, to lavender, to pink. you can find it floating on the surface of ponds in warm climates around the world.
The water hyacinth is also one of the most productive plants on earth; it's reproductive rate astonishes botanists and ecologists. Although a single plant can produce as many as 5,000 seeds, the method it prefers for colonizing a new area is to grow by doubling itself, sending out short runner stems that become "daughter plants".
If a pond's surface is fairly still and undisturbed, the water hyacinth may cover the entire pond in thirty days.
On the first day, you won't even notice it. In fact the first few weeks you will have to search very hard to find it. On day 15, it will cover perhaps a single square foot of the pond's surface.....a barely significant dollop of color dotting the expanse of placid green.
On the twentieth day (two-thirds of the way to the end f the month), you may happen to notice a dense little patch of floating foliage, about the size of a small mattress.
On day 29, one-half of the pond's surface will be open water.
On the thirtieth day, the entire pond will be covered by a blanket of water hyacinth.
You will not see any water at all.
-From "the Slight Edge"

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." - Thomas Edison

Thank you

A few of my blogs lately have been about blogging.....and, yes you guessed it, this one is heading down that path as well. It has not been flowing for me lately like it was. I am learning about myself and human nature in my recent challenge, so I am grateful for it. Tonight I have decided to write a thank you blog. Whoever is reading this blog right now, I am writing this for you. I do not take it for granted that you are reading my blog. And, knowing that you are reading my blog, not only inspires me to continue writing, it inspires me to continue growing and making a difference on this planet. By supporting my blog, you are supporting me and I thank you. It reminds me of how important it is to encourage people, to acknowledge them, to appreciate them.....it's like fuel for the soul. When we support what people are up to in life and encourage them to move forward, we are doing our part to make this planet a better place. OK, I know, I know....you're thinking "It's just a blog dude, settle down"....I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate you appreciating me....thank you. Oh, and babe...special thanks to you, my biggest supporter always....I love you.....

Commitment

People have different views of what commitment means. I do believe that you can't be kinda, sorta committed. I am either committed or not, right? Take this blog, for instance. I have been at a training all day and I am tired and have to get up early again and I really feel like just going to bed....I know, "somebody call the whaaambulance". My point is, I have been writing this blog every day since January 1, no matter what. So, if I didn't write it this one time, does that mean I was committed to writing the blog and now I'm not? Yes, it means that tonight I am committed to going to sleep and not to writing my blog and tomorrow I can get committed to writing the blog again. Commitment is a choice in the moment, I think....lol. This is all really individual perspectives anyway...makes sense to me, though. So, why bother writing the blog than, if I am tired and can just recommit tomorrow? Because I made a long term commitment to blog every day for a year and I choose to be my commitment in this moment. That being said, I am now choosing to commit to sleeping. Sweet dreams ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

A cup of smiles to get me going

I flew into Orlando yesterday for a Transitions training. I'm staying with Marie's sister, her husband and three kids. This morning I woke up to the sound of little voices and giggles. I got up and walked out of my room and was greatet by a big smile and a loud "Uncle Stephen's up! "Then I got hugs and more smiles. I sat at the table and watched as they ate breakfast and, of course, made a little bit of a mess. Then, it was my mission to do whatever I could to get them to smile and laugh or hear little Samantha say "moooawah" (more) or Alex say "what awr yew duwing unwkle stewphen?" Who needs coffee? I know when this is your every morning routine, it may be a challenge at times to find the joy in it amidst the pounding headache....I do get that. I am a visitor and I am leaving in two days. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves to see the joy in what we have. This reminds me to see the joy in what I have and appreciate every moment of it.

Two sides

It's always been fascinating to me how two people can experience the exact same event and have completely different experiences. Not only do we experience the situation differently, but we also hear the explanation of the situation differently than the person is intending to express it. Did you follow that? You're not supposed to really, that's the point. Yet we argue about it, go back and forth, trying desperately to get our point across, to be heard. And, of course we are not being heard because guess what the other person wants?....to be heard! And their "a lot" is 2 and your "a lot" is 8 and, by the way, in the midst of it all, you happen to be wearing the same color shirt of the kid that beat them up in the third grade....you don't stand a chance of being heard. The thing I have been slow in realizing is this....if my side is my side, then I already know what it is, so why am I spending so much time talking about it. Why not listen to one I know nothing about....because I'm a stubborn human sometimes. So, there are two sides to every story and all the growth and learning is in the other one.

Writers block

This is my 62nd straight blog, beginning from January 1 and what I have decided to write about today is not knowing what to write about.....stay with me. I read an interview with a famous writer once and he said that writers block isn't that you have nothing to write, it's just that you don't like anything you write. When I began writing, I really didn't have anything to write about, so maybe that only applies to famous writers. That is a wake up call for me though. If, in a full 24 hour period, about 18 of those hours being awake, I have nothing new to write about, it's time to step it up...again. My commitment is to create a new story every day, to learn something every day, create a new adventure, have a new experience, make a new discovery. That's living after all, isn't it? And why would any of us just want to live some days and take off on others? So, no I'm not letting myself off the hook for having one day where I had nothing to write about because I deserve to have a big day every day, we all do. Hey wait, I guess I did learn something today.....make every day something to write about!

The 11th impression

A friend and a great man passed away yesterday. This was not a man who I would say made a great first impression. My guess would be that many people walked away from him after the first meeting thinking, "Who does he think he is?" or something to that affect. This was a man who called it like he saw it and didn't apologize for it. My first and probably tenth impression of him was not a great one. I am so grateful that I had an opportunity for the 11th impression. This was a man who cared more about people than what they thought of him. Was he always right? Was he always effective? Did his message always get through? Of course not. The thing is that he had the courage to voice his opinion and he was coming from love. I remember being in a meeting the first time I met him and thinking why doesn't this guy just back off and leave me alone? The answer, I would later find out was because he cared, even though he didn't know me. "You never know how far you can go, unless you are willing to go too far". Steve Stark was willing to go too far and in the process countless people took a deeper look at themselves and were better for it....including myself. The lesson this great man has left with me is to not be afraid to take in feedback from all sources and to trust that I may have something to offer to someone else and to not be afraid to say it. Thank you Steve.....you will be missed.

GPS

I am apparently a bit behind with the times. I have been driving around aimlessly using manual directions, watching for street signs and exit numbers and actually using a map when I get off course....what a caveman I have been! Well, a friend of ours left their GPS behind and we have been using it for the past few weeks. How have I survived? I put in the address where I'm going and I start driving along and a woman in a very sophisticated British accent says "in 2.3 miles, bear left, then exit left"I know some of you are laughing at me because you have had one of these things for years now, but I'm excited! then I find out that they need it back this week....what? No more sophisticated British accent direction lady? Are you kidding me? How will I get around? We need to go buy a GPS! To think that we once lived without cell phones and computers and Ipods....really! And one day we will be saying "remember when we had to actually manually drive our cars?" Human conditioning is amazing! Just last month I was getting around the old fashioned way.....googling an address and having an itemized printout within 60 seconds. Now I hear that I'm losing "my" GPS and it's like somebody poked my eyes out and gave me a lobotomy. I remember before I had a cell phone, I had about 30 phone numbers memorized in my head, now I had to use a memory technique to remember my wife's number. If we suddenly lost all modern technology , we would all be walking around like zombies...for a little while. Then, soon after, you know what would happen? We would figure out how to live without it. That's how amazing humans are. We only think that we are dependant on it. We can live without technology, we just choose not to, and I'm grateful that we do.

Small Victories

Last night Marie and I went to see a good friend of ours play in a tennis tournament. He started playing tennis about a year ago and was super excited to be competing in a tournament and we were super excited for him. The match came down to the wire to decide whether his team would go on to play in the finals and, in the end, they won. After the match our friend was glowing and he had a little extra bounce in his step when he walked. I have to say, I was watching the end of this match with more excitement than I would a pro tennis tournament match. Why?.. because for my friend, it was. The experience had me realize that there are no small victories, they are all huge. Whether in the pros or not, every accomplishment, every victory, every time we reach a goal, we are growing. As our belief in ourselves goes up, just a little more joy is deposited into our souls. The lesson I took from this was to be light about everything, but take nothing lightly. This was further motivation to continue taking on challenges and racking up the "small" victories.

putting it into action

Today I went to an amazing seminar. I got a lot of great information on how to grow my business and reach more people. I learned form a trainer who is having the kind of success that I am building towards. Myself and the people I was there with walked out of there pumped up, excited and motivated. The thing I need to keep in mind is that everything I learned today, like anything else will dissipate very quickly unless I put it to action. Knowledge will only take me so far. I know what I need to do. I know the impact it will have on my life and the lives of so many others. I have belief in my myself, and my commitment is to step it up and make it happen....now.

Behind the newsflash

Yesterday I heard a news flash that a tree had fallen in Central Park from the weight of the snow and struck and killed a man. they said that the man was unidentified and all they knew was that he was in his 50's. My mind started spinning a bit, as it sometimes does. Who was this man, who did he love, who loved him, did he have family?. I started thinking that behind this breaking news was a family, friends who's lives were just changed forever, in an instant and man whose journey here on earth had ended. then, last night we were watching the Olympics and they said that the skater from Canada's mom had suddenly died on Sunday and she was skating on Tuesday. the woman ended up winning the bronze medal. I feel that every bit of information that reaches us, reaches us for a reason. It is a lesson, a reminder, a wake up call. I get these lessons often and I am aware of them, take them in and then, more often than I would like to admit, I go about things in the same way. I know it's a process and my commitment is that I don't realize it, I act on it. Have I said everything i want to say? Do the people I love know how much I love them? Am I living my purpose? Am I making a difference in the world? What these two events reminded me is that life is precious and that it goes on.

snow

It's snowing again today. It seems that pretty much everyone on this coast has had it with the snow. It's been consistently cold for a while and we have gotten a good amount of snow this winter. I have to admit that I am more a warm weather guy. I am happiest wearing shorts, a t-shirt and my flip flops. I actually love the snow though. It may be because it still makes me think of a day off of school. I remember watching the news, just waiting for my school to be announced as being closed. Everyone loves a snow day, but nobody loves wet socks. There is also a purity in snow. It's beautiful when all the trees are covered with snow, when everywhere you look, it's white. Kids love snow because it's a time to go and play in it, go sleigh riding, have snowball fights, make money shoveling sidewalks and get out of school. They are making the best out of a situation without effort or even realizing they are doing so. As adults we may not do those things, although why not? We can however find our own way to make the best out of the situation and see the beauty in it or we can bitch and moan and be miserable :)

"unrealistic" goals

To my unreasonable, outrageous, anything is possible friends, let me explain. I know that anything is possible and to achieve an extraordinary life it requires thinking beyond what i know logically see as possible. What I'm talking about here is "setting myself up to lose". There is a difference between unrealistic and outrageous.I used to write a three month goal statement that had a list of a 100 accomplishments on it, which would require me to achieve more than one of them each day and had me earning more per month at the end of the three months than I have mad in a year. I know now that sub-consciously I was making a list of goals that I didn't really believe I could achieve and that nobody could possible fault me for not achieving...if I just achieved 1/4 of it that would be a great accomplishment. I was creating a back door. Then, I would not achieve my goals and repeat the process again. it's like running and jumping from the top of one building to another and missing and hitting the wall and sliding down. then, continuing to do the same thing, rather than make adjustments. Eventually, you will tire out and not even make the wall and splat on the concrete. OK, I can be a little dramatic sometimes, but I don't want to splat anymore. Now I write goals with my top priorities, things that are important to me, that I know I can achieve and I know that I have to be way out of my comfort zone and and be consistently persistent to achieve.

Always connected

I spoke to a good friend yesterday after playing phone tag and not actually speaking for a few weeks. She moved recently and situations have changed that causes us not to interact or see each other as much as we once did. when we finally caught each other on the phone, we picked up right where we left off and it was like we never lost the connection, because we never did. This reminded me that if someone is important to me and I am important to them and we form a connection it is always there, even if it doesn't look the same as it has in the past. sometimes we move, we disagree, we fight, we say or do things that hurt the other person, but if the relationship matters, the connection never dies. Of course that does sometimes take work and care on my part and maintaining the connection. I can't get complacent and take my relationships for granted, but at the same time trust that the connection remains.

blog vs journal

This is not my journal. If I posted my journal every day, I don't think I would have many people coming back to read it again. My goal with this blog has always been to somehow support someone, in some way. Even if that is just through relating to what I'm saying and knowing you are not alone. I do share my experiences and my personal thoughts, though. when I write in my journal, it's all about me. I just throw up all over my journal with my pen...ok, that's probably not a visual you needed after breakfast. What I mean is, I have no filters, I'm not thinking about who it may support or if it will have an impact on someone. I journal when I first get up in the morning and whatever is in my head or on my heart goes on the pages without hesitation and until I'm done. then I end with writing what I am grateful for that day. Sometimes I'm just grateful that I don't have turrets syndrome and may blurt out what I just wrote or that I'm not surround by min-readers. this clears me off to go about my day, most of the time. Before I go to bed, I write about my day, what I did that worked and what could use improvement. Then, I write my intention for sleep and for the next day. I think blogging and journaling are two different things. I blog for you....I journal for me. Although, in some ways they both support both of us. If you don't write in a journal, give It a shot. It's better to release on paper than on the guy at the coffee shop.

Disconnect and get connected

One of the daily practices that I have been following in my self development is listening to audios. I listen to audios on communicating, time management, goal setting, business development, and anything that I feel will make me more effective in life. the great thing about listen to audios is that I can do it when I'm exercising, washing dishes ,cleaning, folding clothes, cooking, driving, on the train, waiting, or walking from place to place. I am able to maximize my time by doing two things at once. 24 hours should be enough time in the day, sometimes it just seems not to be. the thing I started to notice was that while I was educating myself and maximizing my time, at times I was also using it as a way to tune out and disconnect. If I wasn't reading or on the phone, every time I was out and by myself, I would pop in the earphones. I look around, on the train, on the street, in waiting rooms and 955 of the people are reading, on the phone or have earphones in and there is nothing wrong with it. The thing is, I don't want to be in that 95%. My intention is to do extraordinary things and make a lasting impact on this planet. So, I have decided to disconnect. there is plenty of opportunities throughout the day when I am not around other people for me to listen, read and make phone calls, if I am managing my time effectively. When I am around other people, I am making it my mission to connect with them and impact them in a positive way.